Mastery Mindset

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What is a Mastery Mindset? A Mastery Mindset is a way of performing where we give ourselves permission to be a work in progress because, after all, we are a perpetual work in progress. It allows us to perform from a growth mindset instead of a fixed mindset where there is no room for error. It allows us to release judgment of ourselves and others so that we can attempt and try and leap without feeling like we need to be perfect. It allows us to release the death grip on the outcome because we know with every attempt, we will learn and improve to ultimately perform at our peak. It allows us to set fear aside and walk the path that we were really meant to walk.

So often, we are called to perform whether at leading, producing, communicating, presenting, teaching, or in many other ways. Whatever the situation, we are always performing to a certain extent. All too often, we feel like if we don’t perform perfectly or to a very high standard that in some way we failed, or we’re not good enough to perform at that level, which causes us to question what we’re doing, or if we can achieve what we want to achieve. Sometimes those doubts become very overwhelming and could cause us to take the “safe” path instead of the path that is tugging at our heart.

For a lot of us, there is a whisper of a vision we have that seems almost too big to dream. Do you have this whisper? I help clients tap into their big visions to the point where they are almost embarrassed to share it with others. If you think it’s crazy and you would be embarrassed to share it, then that’s probably it! That’s the real vision you have for yourself. This vision may seem so out of reach that it feels impossible to achieve.

I have a client who was struggling with this recently. There were two paths in front of him: the safe path or the scary path toward his big vision. At first, he chose the safe path, which we all need to do from time-to-time to prepare for the path we want to travel. There’s no shame in that at all. We do what we need to do for many various reasons and can learn a lot along the way. But as he started down this path, an opportunity presented itself to him toward his big vision that was terrifying and uncertain. He said, “It was because I was so scared that I knew I needed to go”! In that moment, he switched gears and pivoted toward his big vision. I cannot express fully how inspirational that is to me. He listened to the tug at his heart and allowed himself to zig instead of zag (as someone said to me recently) down the uncertain path. He leaned into his fear.

Life is not linear. And no matter how much we try to make our life feel safe and certain, it never really is. Everything could change in a split second. I believe the critical question we need to ask ourselves is, “When I’m on my dying bed and look back on my life, what do I want to see?”

Marcus Aurelius, Roman Emperor, and Stoic Philosopher said: "Let each thing you would do, say or intend be like that of a dying person." Contemplating our fate is scary, and it can be extremely informative. Steve Jobs said during a commencement speech, "Death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be because death is very likely the single best invention of life. It is life's change agent."

All this is to say; there are times in our lives where we could use a pause to check in with ourselves and make sure we are truly experiencing our lives the way that we envisioned we would. We don’t need to strive to achieve something specific but are we showing up each day in the pursuit of becoming the person we ultimately want to be and experiencing our life how we want to experience it? It’s not who others think we should be, or what society tells us we ought to be, but who we want to be. What matters most to us?

For me, it’s building meaningful relationships with those in my life (my daughter, friends, family, clients, co-workers, etc.). It’s connecting with people on a deeper human level. It’s walking a path of mastery in becoming my most authentic self through learning to know myself more and more over time so that I can reflect on my life and be grateful for the path I chose. It’s contributing something meaningful to the world. It’s experiencing all that life has to offer. It’s serving others to help them find their unique path in life that allows them to reflect and see what they hoped to see when at the end. It’s a process of becoming not of doing.

To help us on this path, we can adopt a mastery mindset. A mastery mindset allows us to grow continually. It is an internally focused approach that is intrinsically motivating versus extrinsically motivating. Intrinsic motivation comes from our feeling of satisfaction of how we show up in any task or situation versus needing approval or validation from others. Feedback from others is great information, but it does not inform who we are. Rather, it informs what we might want to work on to fulfill our vision. A mastery mindset isn’t concerned with any particular outcome because it knows that no matter the result, something can be learned from whatever happens. It’s not concerned with showing up perfectly but rather improving over time. We can apply this to any area of our lives and use it in our process of becoming more of whom we are meant to be.

It isn’t to say that there is anything wrong with whom you are right now, but we can shift our mindset to reveal our true selves. There are layers of limiting beliefs that we incorporate into our lives throughout our lives. It’s like a bird with clipped wings, who cannot fly. He is still a bird but unable to be who he was meant to be. Those beliefs are not who we are, so the process of becoming is more about unpacking those belief systems and fully expressing our true selves underneath them so that we have the freedom to soar. It takes courage and vulnerability, but it can be done. Then, there is no fear in being who you are but freedom in it. It’s a process of awareness, acceptance, and trusting the process.

So think about your ultimate big vision. Create your goals to get there. It is about your life and how you want to see it in the end. Are you on the path that will get you there? Are you willing to shift and embrace a mastery mindset for continued growth? Are you ready to unpack those thoughts that no longer serve you so that you can reveal who you are: exposed, vulnerable, and alive?

Poem of the Day

The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.